If I told you the true stories of the Anti-Swedite your eyes would bug out of your head and your ears would bleed. And believe me if they weren’t already bleeding they would be after you took a beating from that big black purse she hauls around.
Really, it is true.
Or maybe it is just a fabrication of my mind, an optical pollution caused by damage from an angry monkey.
Have I told you I am willing to push the envelope and push buttons. More importantly have I told you I will be updating the main blog in a bit. First I need to take a nap, in the interim read these:
One day I need to share a few of the dancing stories and the crazy adventures that came with them. Got more than a couple of them that might make interesting blog fodder.
Got other stories tied into dancing, tales that may or may not be told.
Sometime dance is where you discover who you love and who loves you. Sometimes it is where you figure out you have a rhythm that rocks when theirs rolls and sometimes it is where the opposite happens too.
There is a seduction tied up in it all.
Been far too busy the last couple of days, haven’t had time to write the way I want to. Spent all day in a conference and then 3.5 hours in the car. Going to play ball and then try to come do some real writing.
I get antsy when I don’t write the same way I get antsy when I don’t exercise and I am well beyond antsy.
Kind of grumpy and pissed off.
It is the best story I ever wrote but I haven’t decided yet whether I want to publish it yet. The ‘funny’ thing about it all is I haven’t any ‘metrics’ to use to tell you how or why it is the best story I wrote.
It is just a gut feeling but unlike other times I am not saying screw it. I am not publishing it without a second thought because I want to double-check a couple of things and think about it for a few. The funny thing about thinking about things is how that can impact your feeling about what you have written.
If nothing else I am going to let it sit because it is 8 and I haven’t eaten dinner yet. Been out roaming through time and space and I need to take a few moments to grab a bite and chill out.
I’ll be back here in a bit and I’ll definitely do post some new material, only question is whether I’ll decide to include or exclude that tale.
P.S., someone told me they thought the words below were sad and I asked why they couldn’t just as easily be happy. Perspective is a funny thing.
And then all that he thought he was and would be was turned upside down.
They say you win some and you lose some. They say some prayers are answered by not answering others and that sometimes the yes you didn’t get saves you from the no you should have uttered.
In the midst and in between it all there are questions you might ask and others you might never ever consider. One way or another we make our way through the minutes and the moments until we realize that we have been left out again and need to decide if that is a good or bad thing.
Does it have to be a yes or a no?
Maybe yes and maybe not.
You can accept it for what it is or make it what it isn’t.
Sometimes the heart is certain as is the brain but the choices you make will only break one of the two.
I learned long ago I am the guy who will call down the lightning and hold onto the fence. Fingers wrapped around the chain link fence, sometimes body slumped against it.
Not willing to let go until I have figured out what lies on the other side.
Wander into the middle of the flames, stand there and burn until I am satisfied with what I feel and see. Doesn’t matter what others say because I am driven by something I can’t describe or explain to others.
If it means I stand alone and apart I accept that because I have never found another way that works for me.
Better to be certain of failure than fail to be certain.
You never know how much you can take or how far you can go until you hold onto the fence and stand in the flames. You never really understand that if you can take the beating and ignore the screams you can reach that place that lies just beyond sight.
Long ago I had a dream about a time and place that left me with a peace of mind I have never forgotten. Maybe that is what drives me, a sense that if I keep pushing I can find that island during daylight hours and I can enjoy it with eyes wide open.
Maybe that is why I am willing to do battle with the beasts and to rattle their cages knowing that the path to this place requires me to engage with them.
Some might say it is smarter to try to let them sleep and to tiptoe past them. But if I must engage I choose to battle because that is what storm walkers do.
Alone and apart we wander the world until we find our path and are able to lay down our swords and soothe our souls.
Living life intentionally, focused on making things happen and not being the freaking leaf in the river. Not always easy.
Now if only I had more time…