“I was there. I saw what happened. I witnessed the mystical majesty of the marvelous man and his wacky wordsmithery. I stood in awe and watched him do battle with a mummy, a witch, a wight and a dragon who was forced to take flight.” The Ballad of B.S.
Smarter men than I have learned that it is never a good idea to challenge the universe because that crazy bitch will cut you…bad.
You don’t want to tell the universe to STFU or suggest that it might want to take a deep breath and relax because we both know it gets crazy around that time of the month.
Oh no, you don’t want to go there because the universe will try to humble you. It will throw shit at you that you haven’t ever seen before and do it in a way that confounds you.
And let me tell you that a confounding conundrum can really screw up your day, or at least it did mine.
The day started in the normal way. Rolled out of bed, roused the young folk from their slumber and set upon making breakfast for us so that I could send them on their way to camp and attend to the business that pays the bills.
All was moving along swimmingly when I received word of a need to pump out some kick ass content for a contributor to the “Help Jack Feed His Family Fund.” They asked me if I could provide them with 1,000 words within a four hour time frame and I said “absolutely.”
Under normal circumstances it wouldn’t be an issue, but today was far from normal. Had I known that so much chaos would kick in I would have asked for some more time but life is nothing but unpredictable.
I want to tell you what happened but you wouldn’t believe it if I did. Hell, if I told you that I went to visit the mummy in the picture to collect on the cash his people owe mine for building the pyramids you would say that is crazy, but believable.
The operative word is believable.
What happened to me is so crazy I can only describe it as Scooby Doo come to life.