Call this a hit and run type post- but I don’t write like I used to anymore.
I haven’t decided if this is a good or bad thing, might be a little bit of both. But I don’t write with the sort of reckless abandon I used to, there is far less freedom in my words than there used to be and that sort of bothers me.
The internal editor is working harder than ever on quality control and I spend too much time listening to the whisper of his voice. It is a mixed bag this thing, because in some ways my writing has become exponentially better than it was. Improvement is something to be grateful about and I am.
Yet there is also this realization that there is a lack of honesty and depth at times that didn’t exist before. I am holding back, reserving that piece for myself and I wonder if I will ever feel the sort of trust needed to let it out again.