The hardest part about life is the feeling I sometimes get that I need to move/do/change now and not later. My patience is being tested now because I am in the latter stages of major transitions and I want to charge into the next portion but I can’t make some things happen any faster and it frustrates me.
LA is home and always will be but that has changed because Texas is where I see myself and the place I think about daily.
It is surreal to think of and it took a long while to accept it, but it is where I think I need to be. The hard part is waiting and working towards making it happen again but it is exciting.
Still I have a ways to go so I am doing my best to be present in the place and moment I am in yet it is terribly difficult because this feels some temporary.
Difficult because heart, head and gut are aligned and in different places than here. Who knew that would happen. Who knew it could happen.
Not me, I wouldn’t have guessed I could feel this way but I do.
I don’t have to close my eyes to see the places I miss.
Sometimes I think about buying a plane ticket to go back because I get this feeling I might burst otherwise.
But there is always the patient part of me that counsels relaxation, the part that says no fear, no worry all will unfold as it should.
So I do and I wait and I watch.
Sometimes from my head and sometimes under a big, bright moon.