The hardest part about life is the feeling I sometimes get that I need to move/do/change now and not later. My patience is being tested now because I am in the latter stages of major transitions and I want to charge into the next portion but I can’t make some things happen any faster and it frustrates me.

LA is home and always will be but that has changed because Texas is where I see myself and the place I think about daily.

It is surreal to think of and it took a long while to accept it, but it is where I think I need to be. The hard part is waiting and working towards making it happen again but it is exciting.

Still I have a ways to go so I am doing my best to be present in the place and moment I am in yet it is terribly difficult because this feels some temporary.

Difficult because heart, head and gut are aligned and in different places than here. Who knew that would happen. Who knew it could happen.

Not me, I wouldn’t have guessed I could feel this way but I do.

I don’t have to close my eyes to see the places I miss.

Sometimes I think about buying a plane ticket to go back because I get this feeling I might burst otherwise.

But there is always the patient part of me that counsels relaxation, the part that says no fear, no worry all will unfold as it should.

So I do and I wait and I watch.

Sometimes from my head and sometimes under a big, bright moon.


2 thoughts on “Transitions

  1. I wondered how it felt to move back to LA. Interesting to hear how much you connected with Texas and want to go back. What a different world that is compared to LA.

    And for some odd reason, I have felt connected to you the first time I saw your other site (the main one you blog) and so as usual, our lives feel in the same place. I’m doing my best to live in the present but wanting things so desperately to move forward.

    I’m living in Medias Res … in the middle of things.

    • Hi Penney,

      There are three places in the world that have quickly felt like home to me, Jerusalem and Texas are two of them.

      It is a very different world in many ways but similar in many too. It is surreal to me to be so active in trying to leave LA and California.

      When you grow up here and know the city and state the way I do it is hard because there is so very much good but at this moment in time it is very hard to see myself hanging around because the cost of living isn’t what it once was.

      It is funny because yesterday retirement was so far away it was impossible to think about and now it is a thought. Might not be realistic, but the possibility exists and so I find myself trying to lay out the future.

      If nothing else I want to give myself a chunk of time where life is less complicated and easier.

      Media res indeed for both of us.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s