Been a hard few days and I get the sense more hard stuff is coming.
I could write a thousand words about it all but there is no benefit or upside to it. Heck the only reason I am mentioning anything here is because sometimes words are the fastest way to clear my head.
The issue is I feel like I have a few things hanging over my head. They aren’t minor details, these things are big and if they happen much will change. Change isn’t in indicator of good or bad, just that things are about to go a different direction. What is hard is some of this is tied into a sense that the other shoe is about to drop.
A sense that I am about to be given a significant challenge to deal with and I am tired. Tired of feeling like these battles are always mine to fight alone and yet I am handcuffed so that I can’t deal with them the way I really want to.
The thing is if I am capable of handling whatever comes and finding a way to make it work but I hate being handcuffed and this feeling of dread.
I don’t understand where it is coming from. I don’t understand why I am feeling so crazed and that is probably why I am so wound up. Transitions aren’t always easy but I see daylight.