Doing my best to hold fast to belief in myself and the things that led me to this place. Doing my best to hold fast to the idea that I can’t hold myself solely accountable for being in this place and in this position.
Hard to believe I am here and yet here I am.
But the spirit that led me to dance in the fire is the same that pushes me to stand fast and to remember who I am and to trust that I always make it through.
I think about a friend who said goodbye to his wife yesterday and how now he and his children shall walk alone. Her time is ended and mine is not. It is a solemn reminder that though things are not quite what I want them to be they aren’t finished either. The difference between me and them is I have the choice to continue.
So I shall continue to tread water as needed and to swim for shore when land is seen. But you’ll understand that when my head slips below water it is not because I have given up but because sometimes the peace beneath the surface provides a quiet respite and time to recover some energy.