Been a particularly challenging time and it has been hard not to second guess some of the choices I have made. So I have made a point to stop that kind of thinking when it comes because there is no upside to it.
I can’t go back in time. I can only deal with today and what comes afterwards.
But it doesn’t mean I haven’t been frustrated or that there haven’t been moments where it has felt like some devil or demon has jumped on my back and is holding on with all he/she/it has got.
I can’t reach dead center of my back. If there were a real creature there I would slam my body into the wall or throw myself down the stairs. Not the preferred or most pleasant way to remove such things but I work with whatever resources I have at hand.
Of course I find myself being frustrated with the realization that when I say things like this I think about the recovery time. I never used to think twice about such thing. My body did what I asked it to do and if I pushed too hard I paid a price for a day or two and that was it.
Except now the price is much higher than ever before and every day I am made aware that I am not what I once was.
Part of the joy of the journey I suppose.
One of the funnier parts of becoming an adult is realizing that kids who think adults know more are so very wrong. We are all just winging it.