Been listening to this song my entire life but it is only recently that it hit me that it feels like it is describing my life now. I am not homeless but I am definitely in between homes. The joint I am in now could be a place that I could stay in for years but it won’t because it is not right.
Not right for a million different reasons none of which really matter because it is just not right. Where I was just before was once home but those days were long ago and it won’t ever quite feel the way it should.
Funny thing is the place just before that was always a transition home to me. Was always a sort of placeholder but it broke my damn heart leaving it nonetheless.
Don’t think I ever wanted to say that out loud or write it on any kind of paper because…well I just didn’t. Part of me saw a connection between this song and it.
People say that what is meant for you won’t pass you and I believe it up to a point because you have to recognize opportunity when it shows and though it might punch you in the nose a million times if your head is up your ass you just won’t get it.
I know that because I have been that guy. Been that guy who didn’t make a move because he preferred to dance with the devil he knew and then because he worried about the million what ifs that were tied into everyone else around him.
Well I kicked the devil’s ass and sent that motherfucker to Georgia because that is just how I roll and then I sat down in the darkness, licked my wounds and cried by myself because I rarely share my tears.
So now I am the City of New Orleans again but this time I am the damn engineer and conductor. This time I am not backing down, away or stepping to the side. This time I am the man that the world made made me into but focused on being the man I wish to become.
No excuses. No surrender. No choices other than to push through.
I am tired of living in between. Time to break on through the other side and get that home.
Doesn’t have to be forever, just has to make me comfortable enough to say this is home for now. Success Is More About Effort Than Luck and I am going to prove that…again.