It is not really a question and not really a statement. It is something in between and I haven’t a clue how it happened.
I was paying attention, active and involved and yet it happened.
Sometimes I try to tell myself there is no point in beating myself up about it because I am not a mind reader and there would have been no way to do more without that ability.
It is not bullshit or something that allows me to escape responsibility because it is true and the fact is, I am not trying to escape anything.
I couldn’t escape it if I wanted to and so I sit here feeling a combination of sad and crazed because I can’t do any more than I have done.
People have to want to help themselves and you can’t do anything unless they want to change.