Hit And Run

Took another look at the quotes below and thought about the people in my life. Many thanks to the few who I never grow tired of and who give so much of themselves, even when they don’t realize it.

Gratitude, it is what I am thinking about.

For Review

The quotes below caught my eye today. Perhaps they will be parts and pieces of words I’ll share here or elsewhere later on

“Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.”
― Maya Angelou

“You see, you closed your eyes. That was the difference. Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too–even when you’re in the dark. Even when you’re falling.”
― Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie

“Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance

“I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together.”
― Lisa Kleypas, Blue-Eyed Devil

“We’re all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there’s no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why is this? Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. And it isn’t until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems—the ones that make you truly who you are—that we’re ready to find a lifelong mate. Only then do you finally know what you’re looking for. You’re looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: the right wrong person—someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, “This is the problem I want to have.”

I will find that special person who is wrong for me in just the right way.

Let our scars fall in love.”
― Andrew Boyd

“Come sleep with me: We won’t make Love,Love will make us.”
― Julio Cortázar

“We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. For me, love like that has only happened once, and that’s why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory. I’ll never forget a single moment of it.”
― Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

“The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected. Maybe they always have been and will be. Maybe we’ve lived a thousand lives before this one and in each of them we’ve found each other. And maybe each time, we’ve been forced apart for the same reasons. That means that this goodbye is both a goodbye for the past ten thousand years and a prelude to what will come.”
― Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

“I’ve been fighting to be who I am all my life. What’s the point of being who I am, if I can’t have the person who was worth all the fighting for?”
― Stephanie Lennox, I Don’t Remember You

“I want to grow a flower for every time someone tells me “F*** you.” Then I’ll go back to that person and pin the flower on their lapel in a gesture of friendship. And while they are looking down on it in astonishment, I’ll bunch up my knuckles and punch them in the face.”
― Jarod Kintz, I Want Two apply for a job at our country’s largest funeral home, and then wear a suit and noose to the job interview.

And if you haven’t had enough you may always try:

Holding Fast

Doing my best to hold fast to belief in myself and the things that led me to this place. Doing my best to hold fast to the idea that I can’t hold myself solely accountable for being in this place and in this position.

Hard to believe I am here and yet here I am.

But the spirit that led me to dance in the fire is the same that pushes me to stand fast and to remember who I am and to trust that I always make it through.

I think about a friend who said goodbye to his wife yesterday and how now he and his children shall walk alone. Her time is ended and mine is not. It is a solemn reminder that though things are not quite what I want them to be they aren’t finished either. The difference between me and them is I have the choice to continue.

So I shall continue to tread water as needed and to swim for shore when land is seen. But you’ll understand that when my head slips below water it is not because I have given up but because sometimes the peace beneath the surface provides a quiet respite and time to recover some energy.

Movement

LinkedIn shows that a number of people have visited my profile, most come companies I applied for positions with. Some of them have moved from there to my blog where they did whatever they did. By that I mean some spent time sifting through the archives and others just clicked their way through.

Hard to say what any of it means but I know for certain something good is happening because a couple more interviews came through.  It shows there is movement and that leads to progress.

I am excited about it but really wish there was more substance to rely upon. Movement is good but it doesn’t pay the bills.

Other Stuff I Wrote

 

Foolish Moments and Mistakes

Got a letter the other day from my healthcare provider saying my medical coverage had been canceled for lack of payment. Read it and shook my head because I couldn’t believe these jackasses had managed to screw things up…again.

And by again I mean again because we have done this silly dance where they tell me I am not covered for procedure XYZ or have billed me twice for something that shouldn’t have been billed and I in turn have spent hours making sure the mistake was corrected.

Well this time I discovered it wasn’t a mistake. It was accurate. It was real and it is my own doing.

I didn’t pay the premium.

It wasn’t because I didn’t have the cash it was because I just missed it. It slipped my mind and I screwed up. I can’t ever remember a time where I didn’t pay that bill. It is always foremost on my mind. Always something that gets paid and if ever money was tight it still got paid because you never know.

But this time it didn’t happen and now I am not covered. This time I find myself looking for short term coverage, something to cover my ass because sometimes shit happens and I don’t want to be stuck without coverage because..well that is obvious, isn’t it.

Head Is Still Spinning

Three more interviews and a ton of email activity has left my head spinning faster and harder than before. Part of me is so very pleased by this because this much activity should lead to something and yet there is a piece saying slow down and take a deep breath because sometimes things fall down.

But I am not going to be the low expectations guy here. I plan on success and I will make it happen because it is what I do.