This song always leads me to pen and paper or a computer. It is probably among the top 20 or so for giving me ideas for stories to tell and posts to share.
And that leads me to the reminder that this joint you are visiting is for short bursts of thought. If you want or need more they are here.
Testing out a new posting system. Let’s see what happens.
It is a Toby Keith kind of day. You can listen to these songs and read whatever you want into them or just accept that music fills parts and pieces of me that nothing else does.
It is all part of the magic formula that someone, something or nothing developed when they made me. Thankfully they broke the mold when they finished because the world doesn’t need more knuckleheads than already exist.
And some Jimmy Buffet too
And some less recent
If you need to ask you don’t need to know or maybe I don’t feel like telling. Yeah, I am fired up about a few things and part of why I am is because I have restrained myself.
I don’t like it.
Don’t like dealing with trolls and tech issues.
Sometimes I think about closing up shop and starting over.
One of these days I’ll get around to explaining what that means. One of these days I’ll be in a place where I can just speak and not wonder who is going to try to stab me and who isn’t. One of these days I won’t turn my head with my horns lowered and ready to trample.
One of these days life will be easy again. Not a doubt, not a concern or worry about that.
But sometimes I wonder if after years of war how long it will take for me to put down my sword and lie on the couch with my eyes closed and muscles relaxed.
I remember the boy who didn’t know about these things. I remember the boy who didn’t have any cares or concerns. He was a good kid but he didn’t know how easy he had it or how hard the road he would walk upon would be.
Sometimes I look back at him and wonder if I would tell him to run the other direction. Sometimes I wonder if I would tell him what a fool he was and suggest he eat his gun or get lost.
But that boy wouldn’t have listened to anything I have to say. He would have responded to some with fire and fury. He would have come at me with all he had and I would have faced one hell of a fight. I can’t say what would happen because he never met a man as mean as the one I have become.
He never met an implacable foe but he wasn’t beaten up and worn down. He wasn’t subjected to the pounding I have taken and he had endless amounts of energy and physically he was as strong or stronger than everyone he met. He could dole out such punishment.
But then again he hadn’t taken the pounding and hadn’t learned first hand how much he could take. If you took it to him for a while you might scare him and cause him to waver in his conviction. If you went at him with all you had you might send him away and that might be enough for now.
It is hard to say because I know all he knew and all he will learn. I know how fast he adjusted to and how his reticence to face change fooled people into thinking he couldn’t learn any new tricks. There is no doubt he would survive the onslaught only a question of how soon he would respond.
The biggest question isn’t really tied into any of that. It is whether we can reach back in time and find some of those reserves the boy used to fuel his passion. It is whether we can rediscover his passion and undying belief in his own ability.
And maybe, just maybe we can learn to forgive ourselves for sins both real and otherwise.
“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!” Cave Johnson
I love old Cave Johnson which is why he is in the post before this. Some people have asked if I believe in the perspective Mr. Johnson is promoting here but I don’t know what they are talking about.
That is not me being coy, it is me trying to avoid miscommunication and misunderstanding.
Is this about having a take-no-prisoners and storm-the-castle attitude than I suppose you can say I agree. If you say it is about having a good attitude and being certain you’ll figure out a way to overcome the hurdles you face than I agree with that too.
The way I figure things the stuff that bothers me the most now comes from miscommunication. It comes from conversations that should have happened and didn’t and from fear people had to have certain conversations.
Experience has shown me time and time again that face-to-face conversation kills a lot of these issues, not all because some times you get stuck dealing with jackasses and trolls.
And if you are really lucky sometimes you get stuck dealing with people who insert themselves into situations because they think they are acting on behalf of a jackass or troll.
But sometimes if you suspend your displeasure and anger and take a chance you find that you are pleasantly surprised.
Always better to try and fail than fail to try.
And that my friends is how I sleep at night.
Thoroughly exhausted, lots of thoughts flowing through my head like what I want said at my funeral. More to come when I am not so tired.
Love this clip